Not gone, but away. Not quitting but resting.

Throughout the journey that is Goldmorning, I’ve made a conscious effort to be open and honest with all of you. I know it sounds silly to say that I love and care about people that I have (mostly) never met in real life, but to me, owning a business is not something you do just to make money - a primary purpose is to affect for the better the lives of those who encounter you. Its the bigger picture, and money is just a means and a tool to do so. I want to share what’s been on my heart this month, and what has been leading me to take this next step into a resting place in my life. I’ll start from the beginning for those who have just started following, and maybe don’t know the backstory of Goldmorning or how we started.

 

When I started Goldmorning, I was simply trying to sell clothing from my own closet to make money for new clothes, since I couldn’t afford to buy anything at the time. My husband moved to the States from Canada via a fiance visa, which meant he couldn’t work a legitimate job for a substantial period of time. Photography jobs were slow at the time, so we were in a rough spot. This is just to give an idea of the position we were in — but a girl’s gotta shop, so I found a responsible way to get a little pick me up every now and then. Everything in my closet sold, and fast. Since I had experience in the fashion and social media worlds, I decided to give selling new clothing a shot. It was a risk at the time because I was moving into selling all sizes. It was also probably the worst time to invest in a business because of our financial position (barely paying our rent). Our first purchases were on a credit card we opened specifically for Goldmorning, and were made with much stress. Since my first job as a kid, I’ve always strived to make wise financial decisions, but at the same time I felt a peace about investing in it, and thought it could be a way to get us to a better place. It definitely made my husband nervous, but he supported me through all of my decisions, trusted my judgement and continues to do so. I remember thinking in the beginning that it was important for me to not take out a loan, and to start small, growing slowly and purposefully. I didn’t want to jeopardize our financial future to chase something. I told myself I would not seek substantial investment. 

I remember spending my first thousand dollars at market praying and hoping it would sell. We went home, took pictures, and built a website. My first order came through, and I was ecstatic. Since that moment, it has only progressed and grown. Not once have we taken a step back. In more ways than just sales, the scope of the business grew - things that I never thought could happen, and people that I never thought I would meet; it essentially changed my life. Its the reason I have some of the most important relationships in my life, and the avenue that moved us to California in the first place. 

Goldmorning has truly only been a blessing. There have been extremely hard and difficult seasons, but it has only ever lead to blessing. 

Recently, I’ve felt a nudging in my heart to take this next step into rest. The second I finally made a decision to do so, I felt an overwhelming peace. “Taking rest” sounds easy to do, but its honestly one of the hardest things to do for this girl right here. I’m aware that I’m a perfectionist. I never want to stop - I can be stubborn at times, and even obsessive. So to come to a place and realization of a call to rest is going to be difficult for me, but it feels right. 

So for now, I’ve made the decision not to close Goldmorning, but to lay it down until picking it back up feels right again. Initially I wanted to say a month, but I don’t want to put a timeframe on what’s developing. I wanted you guys to know my heart. I love every detail about running Goldmorning, including my interaction with all of you - it’s such a joy to me, so I feel responsible to keep you updated. 

One of the reasons it’s scary to take a rest is that we’ve invested so much. Tears, time, money. From living in my parents house with shoe boxes and clothing stacked at the bottom of our bed, to working a full time job on the side and building Goldmorning in the mornings and evenings through 20 hour workdays. Stretching our marriage through learning to communicate and work together. I can’t even begin to tell you the work that we’ve put into Goldmorning, so laying it down is scary. It might seem silly, but this is an emotional decision for me, but I’m really excited to see what’s in store. It’s easy to hold onto hope in a state of striving than it is to do so with nothing in sight; putting your faith in something that’s not in your hands is difficult. This step is going to be a type of faith boot camp for me. Being faithful in this next step is the same as being faithful in spending that first thousand dollars. I know many won’t interpret it that way, but it’s truth. 

I do want to be clear, however, that this decision is not being made because of finances. It is not about our marriage (no, I’m not pregnant!) We are alive, doing well, and are so incredibly grateful for everything God has done with our lives. It’s important every so often to regain your focus, and although I’m very much a part of Goldmorning, it’s not my identity. My identity is in Christ first and foremost, and I have to be obedient. This comes before ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. 

I would encourage everyone who follows along to continue to do so, because as I said, I’m not quitting! I’m sure I’ll pop up in the stories to talk about all the things we usually do when I feel to. I don’t know if the break is going to be a week or six months. I hesitated to even share this post in case the break is short, but I still felt it was something that was necessary to put out there. Just to be clear on all the logistics, the shop will still be open! We will still ship all orders and all pending pre-orders, as well as accept restock requests. Customer service will still be active as normal, we just aren’t promising any new arrivals until further notice. The last (for now) batch will be this Thursday. In short, Goldmorning is still open and will function almost as normal! We value all of you, and will still be available for all regular goings on, sans new arrivals. Side note: we’re still sending all the soap giveaway winners their soap, and will be selecting 5 more winners this week. We’ll finish the giveaway as promised! We will also be running a sale on select existing items starting Thursday. This will be posted in our stories and newsletter.

This is not a goodbye! This is a vacation. :) If you guys have any questions, I’m happy to answer them on Instagram, through email, or wherever you want to leave them. 

I wanted to share this photo with you guys quickly. This morning, while considering all this, I was on Instagram and browsed past a photo of this mural. I thought to read it, but didn’t have the mental energy, so just scrolled past it. Not knowing it was here in LA, I just happened to drive by it a few hours later. That last word got me.

Beulah Ekkelenkamp